Would You Like Fries With That?

With the most recent passing of Valentine’s Day, our blessed campus has taken on a whole new aura. Seems as though Valentine’s Day has triggered the release of every Mac-Daddy on the face of this earth, and they have all gravitated to Collegedale, Tennessee. Apparently cupid has cast a spell of bravery over the male student body, and they’ve all come out of hiding. What’s more, they’re like a pack of hungry wolves seeking, you guessed it, female flesh.

I’ve been taking notice of little things warning me such individuals are roaming about. I just strolled through Thatcher lobby and noticed a couple sitting intently at a table in the corner. I’m well acquainted with one of the pair and so I’m not surprised to see him putting the moves on her. In fact, I find the whole situation to be quite humorous because I can see right through this façade. He leans in toward her, and if you observed them from a distance you might be convinced that they are holding a serious conversation, but you see, this is all part of the game. He’s presenting his sensitive side knowing her susceptibility to his sudden gush of femininity.

Of course my nonchalant glance in their direction has distracted him, and he interrupts their conversation to wave in my general direction. I give him the nod, acknowledging his recognition of me as a passerby, but avoid getting pulled into their exchange. I disappear for about a half hour, run some errands and such, only to return to find them in the same situation as before I left. But alas, he’s now standing close to her and appears to whispering sweet nothings in her hear. Note the fact that they are called sweet nothings. His words elicit giggles on her part and disgust on mine. She’s taken the bait: hook, line, and sinker! Another pathetic Mac-Daddy success. But the truly revolting part of this whole process is the fact that I’ll see this individual in the cafeteria later and he’ll be Mac-ing on the server. “No she did not say ‘This is McDonald’s can I take your order?’ and we are not serving Big Macs for dinner. It’s pizza night!”

Therefore if you are feeling braver then usual, and are considering using some overly recycled line as an attempt to get my attention, don’t bother. I like McDonald’s, but I never order the Big Mac. I’m more of a Chicken McNugget kind of girl!