You're So Vain, I Bet You Think This Blog Is About You
There are two types of people in this world; those who are fully aware of their physical endowments, and those who could make a living as the poster child for contraception as a result of a most dreadful combination of genetics. Those belonging to the first group often deny their outward beauty in a most pathetic attempt to save face, while those belonging to the latter group, thoroughly examine the hand they have been dealt and cash in what little chips they’ve been rewarded.
When faced with the question of how I view my physical assets, my response is synonymous with my description: plain and simple. I often feel as though I dove into the shallow end of the gene pool and hit my head on the bottom. Yet despite my occasional feelings of discontentment, I would not quite consider myself a candidate member of the second group as described earlier.
The relevance of such thoughts is better understood in the context of the events of Tuesday. Late last week I received a memo in my mailbox in Herin, the nursing building. I was provided with strict instructions to sign up in order to have my photo taken for a class photo or “composite.” The university will then display our graduating class photo along with the other classes that have graduated from the Southern Adventist University School of Nursing. Despite the many joys of graduating, repeatedly having my picture taken does not fall under this category. Thus, with much weeping and gnashing of teeth, I squeezed myself into the 5:00 PM slot, allowing myself a half hour between work and my appointment to make myself somewhat presentable.
Tuesday the 15th, 4:25 PM rolled around and as expected I was becoming more and more restless to just get it all over with. Hence in my moment of anxiety I asked Jeri, my supervisor at the cafeteria, if I could clock out a few minutes earlier then usual to provide myself with a few extra minutes to get all gussied up. She gave her approval and like a streak of lightning I was out the door and back to the dorm plugging in numerous electric hair gizmos.
Promptly, as my appointment indicated, I arrived at 5:00 PM sharp in the skills lab downstairs, to have my photo taken. Upon entering I filled out some initial paperwork while the photographer gabbed with another girl who had just had her photo taken. I watched as he assisted a classmate who had the appointment prior to my mine. In the meantime he introduced himself and asked if I had finished the required paperwork. While I could still get a word in edgewise, I expressed some anxiety concerning my tendency to blink when someone tries to take my picture, to which he chuckled and promised that he would take care of the problem.
After positioning me on the photographer’s stool, he began asking me rather elementary questions such as, “What comes after the number 5?” to which I replied “6” followed by the closing of the camera shutter. Suddenly his questions became a little more not so elementary as he inquired, “Do you have a special man in your life right now?” Ever so slightly bewildered I attempted a smile as I replied with a resounding, “No” to which he retorted, “Well you should, a pretty girl like you.”
After 4 photos and extensive retinal damage, I staggered across the room, dodging the occasional flash halo. We continued to chat about school as my photos printed from his laptop computer. He then instructed me to choose the photo I wanted to appear in the composite. After some debate with another classmate I decided to request his professional opinion. Handing him the sheet of photographs he tapped his nose with his ballpoint pen and hesitantly murmured, “I don’t know. You’re such a pretty girl. All these pictures are great.” At this point I was more aware his ever emerging tendency to smother his subjects in compliments that were slightly less than sincere. I was tempted to reply, “Cut the crap Gramps” but instead offered a forced chuckle, quickly chose the first photo, and made a swift turn for the exit.
Recently, in competition with my own definitions of beauty, I researched how other people convey the concept of beauty and discovered one that I particularly enjoyed and thought it mighty applicable for my photographer fellow.
"Truth is beautiful, without a doubt. But so are lies." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
When faced with the question of how I view my physical assets, my response is synonymous with my description: plain and simple. I often feel as though I dove into the shallow end of the gene pool and hit my head on the bottom. Yet despite my occasional feelings of discontentment, I would not quite consider myself a candidate member of the second group as described earlier.
The relevance of such thoughts is better understood in the context of the events of Tuesday. Late last week I received a memo in my mailbox in Herin, the nursing building. I was provided with strict instructions to sign up in order to have my photo taken for a class photo or “composite.” The university will then display our graduating class photo along with the other classes that have graduated from the Southern Adventist University School of Nursing. Despite the many joys of graduating, repeatedly having my picture taken does not fall under this category. Thus, with much weeping and gnashing of teeth, I squeezed myself into the 5:00 PM slot, allowing myself a half hour between work and my appointment to make myself somewhat presentable.
Tuesday the 15th, 4:25 PM rolled around and as expected I was becoming more and more restless to just get it all over with. Hence in my moment of anxiety I asked Jeri, my supervisor at the cafeteria, if I could clock out a few minutes earlier then usual to provide myself with a few extra minutes to get all gussied up. She gave her approval and like a streak of lightning I was out the door and back to the dorm plugging in numerous electric hair gizmos.
Promptly, as my appointment indicated, I arrived at 5:00 PM sharp in the skills lab downstairs, to have my photo taken. Upon entering I filled out some initial paperwork while the photographer gabbed with another girl who had just had her photo taken. I watched as he assisted a classmate who had the appointment prior to my mine. In the meantime he introduced himself and asked if I had finished the required paperwork. While I could still get a word in edgewise, I expressed some anxiety concerning my tendency to blink when someone tries to take my picture, to which he chuckled and promised that he would take care of the problem.
After positioning me on the photographer’s stool, he began asking me rather elementary questions such as, “What comes after the number 5?” to which I replied “6” followed by the closing of the camera shutter. Suddenly his questions became a little more not so elementary as he inquired, “Do you have a special man in your life right now?” Ever so slightly bewildered I attempted a smile as I replied with a resounding, “No” to which he retorted, “Well you should, a pretty girl like you.”
After 4 photos and extensive retinal damage, I staggered across the room, dodging the occasional flash halo. We continued to chat about school as my photos printed from his laptop computer. He then instructed me to choose the photo I wanted to appear in the composite. After some debate with another classmate I decided to request his professional opinion. Handing him the sheet of photographs he tapped his nose with his ballpoint pen and hesitantly murmured, “I don’t know. You’re such a pretty girl. All these pictures are great.” At this point I was more aware his ever emerging tendency to smother his subjects in compliments that were slightly less than sincere. I was tempted to reply, “Cut the crap Gramps” but instead offered a forced chuckle, quickly chose the first photo, and made a swift turn for the exit.
Recently, in competition with my own definitions of beauty, I researched how other people convey the concept of beauty and discovered one that I particularly enjoyed and thought it mighty applicable for my photographer fellow.
"Truth is beautiful, without a doubt. But so are lies." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
posted by Patti RN | 8:51 PM
6 Comments:
What do u think makes you so "plain" in your eyes? Cause I don't see u as plain.
I think that if you could see yourself as others see you you would think that you were beautiful too....
yes, If you saw yourself in someone else's eyes, you too would find yourself quite beautiful!
in my opinion, of course i was always the cuter kid (he he he) ;) , but the older you get, you are definitely the hotter one. you tell me now you have both t and a (remember what this is? think 'chorus line'), you've got that awesome flippy hair, always had the best skin, got the straight teeth in the family, always have perfect eyebrows- shall i continue? but i too like to keep it on the modest side, despising all pictures and always thinking 'damn! could i be any fatter?' ;) i do take comfort in the fact however that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and there are many people out there who are blind. ;)
hahahaha! too dark, too pale, too skinny, too fat, too much worry over appearance. Besides not everyone can be Beyonce. ;-)
I just took senior portraits so I feel your pain. Except for the hour of preperation bit. It took about 10 minutes for me.
-Raja
Dolly! T&A??? You're slippin' over there in Europe!
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