The Final Warning

As I compose this blog, I'm just so in shock that I'm not even quite sure how to begin. I'm told that the best place to begin is the beginning, but really this story is far too extensive for that. Hence, we are not left with many options. Therefore, if you are a new reader and not fully aware of the background details, I suggest that you get in touch with someone who is, which should not be too difficult considering that the majority of my readers know me personally or my elder sister who is highly educated in such matters as those to follow.

I arrived at work this evening as always. The clock read 5:08 as I flew past doctors and family members on the adjacent hallways. I turned a sharp right into the break room and broke open my bag to retrieve papers and pens and other essentials for this evening's shift. I listened to report, gathered my beeper and any last bits of information needed and began assessing my patients. I'd finished my assessment paperwork and was preparing to pull meds from the Pixis, yet before all that I had to call a doc regarding one of my patients. With that said and done, I decided to take a quick peek at my E-mail since it had been a few days since I last opened my account. To my horror and dismay, I'd received an E-mail from a certain nameless someone, who's been awefully silent for the last 6 months. In fact, I haven't heard a peep since we last spoke in July and I ended the conversation with a dialtone!

I'm not quite sure yet why I am surprised to hear from said individual, because I know better now. I know that this is how he works. It's like clockwork: silence for and extended period of time, and then wham. . . . .out of nowhere, the silence is broken. And then if you are stupid enough to fall for the lines and the charm, it starts all over again. Sorry Bud, I'm not that stupid. I was at one point in time. But today is not that day and tomorrow isn't looking too bright either.

It's almost as if he figured that after 6 months I would forget the details of our last conversation, and just jump right in where I'd left off. Yet I feel that I ought to clarify something before I go any further. This was not your run-of-the-mill E-mail: "How are you? Haven't heard from you in awhile." It was some silly invitation to be a part of some network in which, of course, I would be in nearly direct contact with said person.

But the thing that really kills me is that when all was said and done (and I mean DONE) I totally erased him from being able to have contact with me. IM contact list - gone! Collegefacebook list - gone! Auto dial on my cellphone - gone! Completely gone. And yet the idea has not quite penetrated his 10 inch thick skull.

So while I'm still trying to figure out what is up his sleeve, I'm going to issue my final warning: If you read this, great, if not, that's great too. If your evil sidesick wishes to read this and report to you, as is her habit, well that's just peachy too, in which case this warning goes out to her too! Don't write. Don't call. Don't telegraph. Don't send Indian smoke signals. Don't send a message in a bottle. Don't leave comments on my blog. Just go somewhere, and you know what I mean. Go some place where it's hot, permanently, and there's a first class seat reserved, just for you, next to the man himself. Because really, you said it best yourself - you're not just the waste excreting orifice, you're the whole rearend!

The Book - Part 1

I've been thinking a lot about this "book" lately. Perhaps the flame was rekindled the other week when someone at work, in jest, commented about me writing a book. Regardless of the reason, it is something that I have been pondering lately and yet I still really feel that it is not worth persuing anymore. I suppose more or less it is the subject matter that I feel is really not worthy of all the time and effort that writing requires. Not to mention the fact that writing about any particular something really in and so itself is stating that you feel the subject is worthwhile. That being the case, I've decided to stop while I'm ahead and abandon this project before I regret my efforts. Plus this might save me some scorn by those in this life that have never really even bothered to read one line of my writing, but feel the need to criticize my actions. Hence, I have broken down and am now willing to share the couple of chapters that I have composed over the past few months, and it would only be natural to begin at the beginnning with the introduction:

The beginning is far too blurry to recall all the details, whether significant or superficial, or to assign this once-upon-a-time a definitive capital letter. The events themselves stand at attention along the timeline of our lives and we give them momentum, so much so that the words once spoken are unraveled from sentence and tossed together forming a rather unappetizing word salad, while the places and people begin to smear their colors together congealing themselves into a brown finger-painted mess. Memories can be funny that way. Or perhaps it is the human mind in all its complexities that chooses those things which we are to recall and those that have been condemned to the dungeonous confines of our short term memory, never to be retrieved. Whatever the case may be, these types of situations often dictate themselves and therefore commence during the more obscure and yet oddly predictable instances in life. This tale is no exception to the rule, and thus we have a rather cliche beginning. Despite the predictablity of our opening plot, the characters are all but typical.

Clean Slate

Of course this being a new year, I felt compelled to write a blog looking back on the previous year. Generally I try not to classify things in one lump sum. I make an honest effort to see the positive amongst the negative. But really all I can say is that this past year was wrecked. It was just plain horrible. I really don't mean to be so bluntly negative, but I cannot seem to see through all the darkness of 2005. Of course there were a few choice moments that glimmered with their own specialness, but for the most part, it was all rubbish.

Thus this next year I have decided, must be better than the last. I rang in the new year in hospital room 182. The patient occupying said room was watching the ball drop before turning in and thus the nurses on duty at 1 North joined in the celebration. Looking back on the occasion I feel slightly disappointed that I was not resting peacefully in the arms of the love of my life, but I was earning time and a half, so I suppose I have nothing to complain about.

Funny thing too is that I have also made quite a few New Year's resolutions, while in years past I resolved not to make resolutions, and I am proud to say that with the strength of the Lord I have been doing very well in keeping then. Now of course it has only been a few days since we greeted this new year. But I figure a good start is better than no start at all.

Unfortunately though there is always something the comes along and flips the new year upside down and shakes the optimism out of me. It seems that with every passing year I lose someone that I love dearly or at least loved at one point in time. Last year it was Mr. Alabama, which really I am not mourning over much anymore. If this year is going to be better for any single reason, it will be because he has really become nonexistant in this world as I know it. Yet the other day I received some definite news regarding the dearest of friends of mine, who is leaving this state we both have come to love so dearly, only to return to home, a life I know nothing about. Sigh. It's really thrown me for a loop. I'm not sure what else could go wrong at this point in time.