The Final Warning

As I compose this blog, I'm just so in shock that I'm not even quite sure how to begin. I'm told that the best place to begin is the beginning, but really this story is far too extensive for that. Hence, we are not left with many options. Therefore, if you are a new reader and not fully aware of the background details, I suggest that you get in touch with someone who is, which should not be too difficult considering that the majority of my readers know me personally or my elder sister who is highly educated in such matters as those to follow.

I arrived at work this evening as always. The clock read 5:08 as I flew past doctors and family members on the adjacent hallways. I turned a sharp right into the break room and broke open my bag to retrieve papers and pens and other essentials for this evening's shift. I listened to report, gathered my beeper and any last bits of information needed and began assessing my patients. I'd finished my assessment paperwork and was preparing to pull meds from the Pixis, yet before all that I had to call a doc regarding one of my patients. With that said and done, I decided to take a quick peek at my E-mail since it had been a few days since I last opened my account. To my horror and dismay, I'd received an E-mail from a certain nameless someone, who's been awefully silent for the last 6 months. In fact, I haven't heard a peep since we last spoke in July and I ended the conversation with a dialtone!

I'm not quite sure yet why I am surprised to hear from said individual, because I know better now. I know that this is how he works. It's like clockwork: silence for and extended period of time, and then wham. . . . .out of nowhere, the silence is broken. And then if you are stupid enough to fall for the lines and the charm, it starts all over again. Sorry Bud, I'm not that stupid. I was at one point in time. But today is not that day and tomorrow isn't looking too bright either.

It's almost as if he figured that after 6 months I would forget the details of our last conversation, and just jump right in where I'd left off. Yet I feel that I ought to clarify something before I go any further. This was not your run-of-the-mill E-mail: "How are you? Haven't heard from you in awhile." It was some silly invitation to be a part of some network in which, of course, I would be in nearly direct contact with said person.

But the thing that really kills me is that when all was said and done (and I mean DONE) I totally erased him from being able to have contact with me. IM contact list - gone! Collegefacebook list - gone! Auto dial on my cellphone - gone! Completely gone. And yet the idea has not quite penetrated his 10 inch thick skull.

So while I'm still trying to figure out what is up his sleeve, I'm going to issue my final warning: If you read this, great, if not, that's great too. If your evil sidesick wishes to read this and report to you, as is her habit, well that's just peachy too, in which case this warning goes out to her too! Don't write. Don't call. Don't telegraph. Don't send Indian smoke signals. Don't send a message in a bottle. Don't leave comments on my blog. Just go somewhere, and you know what I mean. Go some place where it's hot, permanently, and there's a first class seat reserved, just for you, next to the man himself. Because really, you said it best yourself - you're not just the waste excreting orifice, you're the whole rearend!