Roll The Dice

I've become so accustomed to thinking with my head that I rarely listen to my heart at all anymore. I suppose that is due in part to the pain that I've brought upon myself by allowing myself to think with my heart instead of my head. There is no better teacher than pain, whether it be physical, emotional, or psychological.

When something hurts you never forget it. If you're lucky it may be classified as so minor that shortly after its onset it becomes only a faint memory, yet sure to someday resurface. Unfortunately, in addition to teaching us life's hardest lessons, it also seems to set within us a whole new degree of fear that we never knew before.

Recently I recognized a situation that could have the potential to change my life for the better. Yet when I recall the things I know and I weigh the pain vs. the potential benefits, my head takes over and reins me in. Tonight I found myself in one such situation as I tried to contact someone over Myspace. I typed out what I had rehearsed in my head, and just as I was preparing to click the send button I stopped myself. I was just a simple greeting, a comment really. But then I did what I do best. I analyzed, and created my own ending to the situation. One that is never quite as appealing as I imagined it would be. Then I second guessed myself and threw the cart before the horse.

But then I thought, "What are you so worried about?" "Maybe that this is something good?" "Maybe you'll prove yourself wrong." If we always play it safe we'll never know. I'd rather feel the pain of a mistake than live the rest of my life with regret, regret because of something I didn't do - because I was too scared.

I suppose too, a big part of our problem as humans is that we negate God from the situation. He has the most amazing way of bringing people together for his glory and often times our own happiness.

So it is that I roll the dice, and anticipate what He has in store for me.