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Sunday, March 18, 2007

The Truth Of The Matter

Yesterday I'd commented on the genetic nature of my perserverence. Today I noted a comment that my older sister left for me. She insisted that it is not perserverence that makes us unique, but our ability to love that differentiates us from other people. She could not be more right.

For the most part, between the three of us (Dolly, myself, and Vicky) we have this unlimited supply of love. According to some there are different "types" of love. There is parental love, which is shared between child and parent. There is familial love, which really I suppose is the same as parental love. And of course, there is the love shared between a man and a woman. I don't want to label this as martial love because of course it is possible to love someone and not be married to them. But then again there is martial love, which I really believe is different from the before-mentioned love between a man and woman who are not married. I'm sure that after living with someone for about 30 years, there is a special love that only married individuals can describe or even begin to understand. Of all the different types, I feel that Dolly was referring to our ability to love men. In my whole life, never have I seen people who can just give, and give, and give, of themselves to a man.

I like to think of myself as a very passionate person, although I almost hesitate to use that word. It almost seems taboo, as if being passionate automatically makes you reckless and irrational. I'm sure too, that some people will read this and laugh at the idea of me being passionate. Unfortunately I think that my overly bashful nature suppresses those feelings from being outwardly expressed, and maybe also to prevent me from embarrassing myself.

I've only really truly been in love twice in my life. So far I'm 0 for 0 as far as being able to get them to love me back, but that never really stops me. And I'm not convinced that either person could ever really fully appreciate the extent of my feelings. If I didn't love outwardly I'm sure that I would drown in it all.

Yes, truly what we do best is love. We love, we hurt, we heal, we love again. It's certainly genetic. Now if only we could conquer it. If only we could find that person willing to reciprocate. Unfortunately that seems to be genetic too. . . . .

2 Comments:

Blogger lady be good said...

i was speaking more generally about porawskis loving. the love i have always felt for you and vicky was so overwhelming sometimes when we were little and i would watch you sleep... just an example.

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love you....

11:13 PM  

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