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Location: Cleveland, Tennessee, United States

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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

"P" Squared - Not So Square

In my younger years as a high school student I adopted the name "P" Squared from one of my teachers, Mr. Rossnagel, this being the case because my first and last initials just so happen to both be "P". Some people have found it to be quite clever and thus the nickname has followed me through the remainder of my high school torture and college as well.

This all is quite significant, for you see, recently I tried to grow my fingernails square. One day out of sheer boredom, I settled myself on the sofa and furiously filed my nailtips flat. Being as it was that half my nails were still rounded, they appeared quite misshapen. But I was convinced that after a few weeks they would grow into those glorious beauties that I've seen in magazines.

Yesterday while catching some downtime I glanced down at my hands. My nails were grown out and yet they still did not look right. What was I trying to do? I had convinced myself that I could improve on Mother Nature and my genetics when I should have realized that what lies beneath always wins.

I suppose it is for the best that I remain my rounded self. After all, there is nothing square about any part of me. On my entire body there is not a single inch of anything that even remotely resembles a square. I could even go so far as to say that there is even very little of my personality which is square. Although I was told otherwise just 2 weeks ago.

While lounging with some friends one lonely Saturday night, I was struck by the comment made by my best friend's stepbrother. For the longest time he thought I was a stick in the mud, a square. Yet that evening as I jabbered about this and that and the other thing he came to the stricking realization that his initial judgement of me was all but right. I was simultaneously relieved and yet insulted. Is that how I come across to other people, especially males? Dolly once told me that I am intimidating to men, but I guess that is a completely different issue we won't touch today.

I would though like to take a census and see who really thinks that I am stick in the mud, especially when they first met me. I digress.

Returning to my original idea, I also am thinking that maybe the whole square fingernail thing was a slap in the face to God. If He wanted me to be that way he would have made my nails grow that way. So rounded we shall be!

12 Comments:

Blogger Nikki said...

actually its healthier for your nails to be square. Don't ask me I just know these things...

4:52 PM  
Blogger Rodney Olsen said...

Just passing through and thought I'd drop in and say hello.

Enjoyed reading your posts.

Keep on bloggin'.

6:23 PM  
Blogger lady be good said...

Well, it is actually my dream to have square finger nails. Laura Cates, my roomie at SAU before you always had THE MOST BEEEEAUTIFUL square finger nails. I have 6 fingers that kinda cooperate, while the other four refuse. Furthermore, I have inherited the 'turtle back' index finger from mother and mom-mom. Maybe it comes with those beaver-ish front teeth I also got. Anyway, I like your fingernails round.

As far as you being a stick in the mud- what does that mean anyway? The only thing that made you muddy in college was that (at least while I was there) you were glued to your books! If you think that mud-stick syndrom might be a problem in your life, then do something about it! I have suggested before to try to join some kind of hobby class- learn how to dance, or speak another language, or just get involved in some kind of charity, community service thing. OR you could just start hanging around LEON! He is ALWAYS looking for you and for some reason whenever he calls you don't answer. Do you work 24/7???

So go visit Leon! That is my point!

11:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are some things i think you should address in your future posts:

for starters, i would like to know when exactly it is that you are working. do you work the same hours everyday? or does it change all the time? do you work every weekend, every other, etc.

second, what advise would you give a patient who came to you complaining that at different and various times they it felt like insects were attacking their skin with their fanging mouths, yet when they looked at the area of skin, there was nothing there, and even still they felt this biting sensation. what would you say?

next, a riddle: brothers and sisters have i none, but that man's father is my father's son. think about it.

and last, a nursery rhyme. remember hey diddle diddle? krukker and the fiddle, uncle slobert's bison jumping over the moon? foxy laughing to see such a sight and the bed pan running away with the iv drip? something like that, well anyway. how would you feel if these events happened in real life?

please consider these topics and blog about them. thank you.

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, i just jumped off the penny and the five dollar bill to read this blog. gimme more!

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sham i am, my name is sham. noah wouldn't let me eat ham. not on his boat, or next to his goat...

1:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey! was that one of my kidneys that just rolled by? get back to work nursie pie!

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sweet nurse patti,

i can't get you out of my mind. you must know after what happened when you tried to give me that catheter last wednesday. i'm sorry for that. it's just that, man, the way you change my bed pan- i dream about that kind of stuff. i would love to see you in a hospital gown- a little open in the back. well, enough of that. you will never lower yourself to my level. i can only admire, dream, and ask for more morphene.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, i got your website address from the guy in the bed next to me who is in love with you. i wish you would do something for him. he really drives me crazy with all his 'nurse patti' this and 'nurse patti' that. is it true that you have a tatto of minnie mouse? well, that is what they are all saying. btw, could you do something about the food. i was sitting on the pot the other day for an hour, and nothing man. well, thanks for your help. see you round the ward.

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AHHHHHH THE BUGS!!!!! I don't see them but I CAN FEEL THEM!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yah go visit Lev he is waiting to hear from you. He is home talking to D

1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe you could get squre implants.

1:18 PM  

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