Where's Your Focus?
I feel that this is a really important life question, not to mention extremely relevant. In the book of Matthew we read that "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." For blogging purposes I would like to propose that one's treasure could also be one's focus. There are many people in this world whose life revolves around money and anything related to monetary dealings. For such people money is their treasure as well as their focus.
The reason I've even presented the question, stems back to something that was said to me tonight at work. As I've matured over the years I've learned that there are 2 types of people in this world: those who have more than one brain cell to use but merely choose to use only one, and those who really only have one brain cell and thus all their thoughts run along a single track - hence the term "one track mind." At first you may be wondering how any of this pertains to this blog. Keep reading. It's coming.
Let's rewind time about a hour and a half back to when the night techs were just coming on shift. On this particular night we have 3 fully grown, living, breathing males on 1 North. Scratch that. We have 3 living, breathing males on 1 North. Of course this is more testosterone than us lady nurses are used to, but when it boils down to it, it doesn't really matter because the majority of my fellow co-workers are married and could care less about the male-female ratio. Yet I seem to be awefully sensitive to it and I can literally feel a difference in the air when there is more than one male on duty for the night.
Imagine the scene if you will: 3 living, breathing males all sitting around complaining about women and how complicated we are. . . . .blah, blah, blah. To such I could not resist but to inform them that it is not women who are complicated, but most certainly males. The returned response was something to the effect of, "Of course men are not complicated. We like violence, computer games, and nudity (which really translates to sex)." To which I retorted that I really prefer none of the aforesaid. This in turn, triggered a gasp, a loud round of laughter, and then a rather embarrassing questionnaire. Here comes into play my previous statement about the 2 types of people on this earth. For whatever reason it seems beyond their comprehension that I can state, without even so much as a flinch, that I do not enjoy sex. How can you enjoy something that you have never experienced? It makes perfect sense to me. This is not to say that someday I might proclaim the various wonders of sex, but today is not that day.
For example, (and please do not take this illustration the wrong way-it is just an example) I had never tried Humus before. It all sounded so gross to me and anything with garbanzo beans is really not my thing. For whatever reason, I was at the Mellow Mushroom one night with a bunch of friends and they were all raving about this Humus and how wonderful it was. So, to my own surprise, I insisted they pass some my way and let me try it. I loved it. It was heavenly. Point being, I could not really say either way whether I liked Humus or not because I had never tried it before. Yet afterward, I was completely legitimate in saying that I liked it. I'd tasted it. I'd experienced it. I could now say it is something that I like. Sex on the other hand, well that's a different story, and honestly I am not ashamed to say that I've never experienced it.
I suppose I am just a little miffed because I feel so misunderstood and even more than that, disrespected. Instead of saying, "Hey I respect that you have not had sex and so I'm not going to bust your chops about it. . ." I get all this bologna about having not had sex, and well of course that makes me strange and just not hip and cool. But the thing that really bothers me is that I am trying really hard to be okay with this person, and take their blows, and not let them see that it all bothers me more than it should, and even hurts my feelings, and yet I am fighting the urge to hate this person and just give them a piece of my mind- this mind that is so unhip and makes me such a loser. And the thing the stinks so much is that I know deep down inside me is a clever and smart woman that really is not complicated at all. I know that I am not the best thing that ever was, but I'm trying to be okay with me and I don't really want to believe that I am such a loser as this person brainwashes me to believe.
I also don't want to come to the point where I start to believe differently than my convictions. I know what is right and what is wrong. I know the temptations that are placed before us in this world and quite frankly, it is really hard to walk to the beat of your own drummer because there is all this commotion in the background and there is always someone clapping off beat.
I know where my focus is. It is just a matter of keeping it there and not allowing someone else to stear me off track. Where's your focus?
The reason I've even presented the question, stems back to something that was said to me tonight at work. As I've matured over the years I've learned that there are 2 types of people in this world: those who have more than one brain cell to use but merely choose to use only one, and those who really only have one brain cell and thus all their thoughts run along a single track - hence the term "one track mind." At first you may be wondering how any of this pertains to this blog. Keep reading. It's coming.
Let's rewind time about a hour and a half back to when the night techs were just coming on shift. On this particular night we have 3 fully grown, living, breathing males on 1 North. Scratch that. We have 3 living, breathing males on 1 North. Of course this is more testosterone than us lady nurses are used to, but when it boils down to it, it doesn't really matter because the majority of my fellow co-workers are married and could care less about the male-female ratio. Yet I seem to be awefully sensitive to it and I can literally feel a difference in the air when there is more than one male on duty for the night.
Imagine the scene if you will: 3 living, breathing males all sitting around complaining about women and how complicated we are. . . . .blah, blah, blah. To such I could not resist but to inform them that it is not women who are complicated, but most certainly males. The returned response was something to the effect of, "Of course men are not complicated. We like violence, computer games, and nudity (which really translates to sex)." To which I retorted that I really prefer none of the aforesaid. This in turn, triggered a gasp, a loud round of laughter, and then a rather embarrassing questionnaire. Here comes into play my previous statement about the 2 types of people on this earth. For whatever reason it seems beyond their comprehension that I can state, without even so much as a flinch, that I do not enjoy sex. How can you enjoy something that you have never experienced? It makes perfect sense to me. This is not to say that someday I might proclaim the various wonders of sex, but today is not that day.
For example, (and please do not take this illustration the wrong way-it is just an example) I had never tried Humus before. It all sounded so gross to me and anything with garbanzo beans is really not my thing. For whatever reason, I was at the Mellow Mushroom one night with a bunch of friends and they were all raving about this Humus and how wonderful it was. So, to my own surprise, I insisted they pass some my way and let me try it. I loved it. It was heavenly. Point being, I could not really say either way whether I liked Humus or not because I had never tried it before. Yet afterward, I was completely legitimate in saying that I liked it. I'd tasted it. I'd experienced it. I could now say it is something that I like. Sex on the other hand, well that's a different story, and honestly I am not ashamed to say that I've never experienced it.
I suppose I am just a little miffed because I feel so misunderstood and even more than that, disrespected. Instead of saying, "Hey I respect that you have not had sex and so I'm not going to bust your chops about it. . ." I get all this bologna about having not had sex, and well of course that makes me strange and just not hip and cool. But the thing that really bothers me is that I am trying really hard to be okay with this person, and take their blows, and not let them see that it all bothers me more than it should, and even hurts my feelings, and yet I am fighting the urge to hate this person and just give them a piece of my mind- this mind that is so unhip and makes me such a loser. And the thing the stinks so much is that I know deep down inside me is a clever and smart woman that really is not complicated at all. I know that I am not the best thing that ever was, but I'm trying to be okay with me and I don't really want to believe that I am such a loser as this person brainwashes me to believe.
I also don't want to come to the point where I start to believe differently than my convictions. I know what is right and what is wrong. I know the temptations that are placed before us in this world and quite frankly, it is really hard to walk to the beat of your own drummer because there is all this commotion in the background and there is always someone clapping off beat.
I know where my focus is. It is just a matter of keeping it there and not allowing someone else to stear me off track. Where's your focus?
posted by Patti RN | 12:40 PM
6 Comments:
my advice is this: just don't bother volunteering information about your personal sexual practices and habits. i at one time was all too eager to trumpet how pristine i was... never been this and never been that, what for? it doesn't make me better than anyone else, people still think about me what they want, so why waste energy on it. let the boys jabber on and just smile to yourself that you know all the better.
I remember some surveys saying that in actual fact men would marry and start a family with a virgin, rather than a woman sleeping around. Even though these guys are scornful about your habits, actually their only brain cell may admire you! So don't worry and ... be good! :) Peter
Who is complicated or more complicated? I guess we all are to a certain extent and we get even more complicated when we want to show that we are above other people and are not willing to let them understand us. It's sooo important to be willing to cooperate in communication. :) Have a great day! Love, Peter PS Some cool links below:
http://www.ux1.eiu.edu/~cfbxb/class/1900/prag/grice.htm
http://coral.lili.uni-bielefeld.de/Classes/Summer98/Functions/functions/node19.html
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345340906/103-4728089-2053402?v=glance&n=283155
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060959622/ref=pd_bxgy_text_b/103-4728089-2053402?%5Fencoding=UTF8
there is a book you should look into reading. "he's just not into you" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Kelly told me it was so good and you might find it interesting too. love ya
oh Patti, I think it's hilarious that I know the people you're talking about and I can picture exactly how the conversation went. I can actually put myself right there, feeling what you probably felt, being just as ticked, and trying to do my best to stay composed. Bottom line I think if people want to talk about having sex you may as well talk about not having it. There's such a compromise on this whole "just keep your purity to yourself thing". I see absolutely no reason why one can state they've experienced something while ridiculing another for not having experienced. I find that some of the people who have the greatest intolerance for intolerant people, are quite intolerant themselves....if you follow. It's really quite a contradiction.
Thanks for the comments on my blog. I haven't really given anyone my blog address so I was surprised to have comments. You're so great!! Have a wonderful day!!
sister! waiting for you to blog!!!
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