The Sound of Music

It has to have been at least 3 years since I last listened to that CD. I remember the day very vividly. We were in Wanda, windows down, flying down Jenkins, sun shining, just Mag and I. During the 2 years that we lived together I made it my responsibility to educate her on the finer sounds of the late 80's and early 90's. So of course I was not surprised to hear her singing along, word for word, above that raspy, ever sexy Bryan Adams' voice. I kept the beat with my left foot and pushed down on the excelerator with my right. Life was starting to make sense again, except I could not fool myself into ignoring the slight ache in my heart as I sang along. That was the last time I listened to that CD, till just this last week.

It's not that we had "a song" per say. We both just really appreciated that CD. He'd even sing to me some mornings - I need somebody, somebody like you. . . There were already other things that I had erased from my life, in a vain attempt to forget. I stopped eatting at Moe's, unless Vicky was visiting and insisted we dine there. Under The Second's advisement I'd thrown away 2 bottles of my favorite lavender lotion, which I'd kept in stock under the bathroom vanity. But I was hellbent against throwing away this CD. There was only so much that I was willing to sacrifice. There are only so many detours you can make. If I had to erase everything that ever reminded me of one person I might as well erase myself. Regardless of the potential danger, I kept it, hoping that one day I would be able to hear those harmonies and think nothing of it at all. A week ago today was that day.

While weaving in and out of traffic I sifted through my CD case looking for something that would fufill my musical appetite, and there it was. I didn't even hesitate. Immediately, as if it were 3 years ago, those songs blared from Bianca's windows as I flew down Ringgold, and I sang as I'd never sang before, as if those songs had been stripped of those old meanings. They were new songs. And not once did my heart ache as I kept beat with my left foot. Not once did I see that face, or crave that kiss, or long to hear that voice singing those lyrics to me.

It's moments like this that I rejoice, for I truly know that he really hasn't stolen all my joy. I've learned to overcome and move on to better things, because this CD is a keeper!